Consultants Aren’t People, and Other Fallacies

A long time ago, in a suburb far, far away, I was a solo consultant, making my way in the world doing fun technical stuff. It wasn’t an easy life, but it had its attractions, and few dangers or so I thought. The solo consultant’s only natural predators are other consultants and CFOs who are always looking to stretch payment and cut headcount.

In this long-gone time, I was sitting pretty having just completed a two month contract. All I needed was the check. After farting around for far too long, I’d finally gotten my invoice in the queue and I wasn’t worried. Until I got a call from the friend who’d sold me into the contract. The company was in trouble. Deep trouble. If I wanted to get paid, I needed to get up there.

When I got there, I met the friend, and the new CFO who I realized had been brought in to wind down the company. This guy, who owed me nothing, pulled a check from the bottom of a big pile and handed it to me.

This will clear, if you can get the CEO’s signature on it.

I took a deep breath.  I am not a leg breaker but I really like getting paid.  Thirty minutes later, a very surprised CEO got a call.

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I’m sitting in a car outside your house. I have the check you guys wrote me but there’s no signature on it. Could you come outside and sign this for me?

Not knowing that I have a peaceful nature and all the muscle tone of a jellyfish, he hurried out and sheepishly signed my check. I ran to the bank and cashed it.  “Yes, I’ll take that all in cash please”.  Two days later, the sheriff padlocked the doors as the company went Chapter 7. A week later, I used that money to buy a new car for cash.

As I said, the new CFO owed me nothing. But he looked at the mess this company had become, saw that I was going to lose almost 20% of my annual gross out of it and he took care of me. I’ve never gotten to repay that favor and probably never will, but I also never forgot it.

In the intervening years I’ve had occasion to use contractors and remembering that episode, I’ve always been hard on them in only one respect. Get your invoices in. I don’t have to do it, and various CEOs have wished that I wouldn’t.  But I do and a couple of times along the way it’s paid off in a guy walking away with one or two more weeks of money than he would have gotten otherwise.

It’s the same with permanents as I covered back here. Over the years there have been a handful of employees who have done great work for me and I’ve almost never been able to pay them market rate, so you take care of them in other ways. I take care of everyone who works for me, but the performers – I will do anything for them. That’s kind of the deal, everyone who’s done good work for me has moved my career, and that’s what I owe them.